Are You a Tonya or a Nancy? (Or UH-OH - a Gilooly?!)

Are You a Tonya or a Nancy? (Or UH-OH - a Gilooly?!)

You’re a badass babe who gives it her all, but what’s your style? 

When you put in for vacation days at work, you:

A.) Always get denied! Don’t worry, you’re not showing up anyways.

B.) Get approved! And Surprise! You have over 72 vacation hours thatyou didn’t even know about!

C.) Have no job as of now, but you got something cooking.

You're accompanying your lover to a black-tie corporate function. You:


B.) Have very long lines in your body, anything you wear will be perfect.

C.) Wear your pants with extra big pockets in case they have those little chicken wings.

Which emoji defines you?


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download (41).jpeg



When you are “invited” to a mandatory customer service training at work, you:

A) Fake a stomach virus. You only lead trainings.

B) Go. Trainings are good. You can always be better

C) Hatch a plan to get injured during the training and sue the company for everything they’ve got. Haven’t nailed down 100% of the details but you got a buddy you can call who owes you a favor.

When you win a $100 coupon for Bath and Body Works in your office Christmas raffle, you:

A.) Rebrand your cubicle into the“Winner’s Box” and lather yourself in Suncrisp Apple Harvest Body Lotion every day until forever. What do you mean it “runs out?” No, it doesn’t.Fuck off!

B.) Quietly take it home and barely use it because it’s impolite to showoff.

C.) Hatch a plan to get a $200 coupon. Maybe call in a bomb threat on the local Bath and Body Works, then break in and reset the limit on the coupon (still hammering out the details on this but you have a buddy you can call who owes you a favor.)

Scroll down for your destiny...

Curator’s Tip: Don’t tell your co-workers whether they’re a Tonya or a Nancy unprompted! It’s a sure-fire way to end up in H.R.

Curator’s Tip: Don’t tell your co-workers whether they’re a Tonya or a Nancy unprompted! It’s a sure-fire way to end up in H.R.

If you got mostly A’s you’re a Tonya!

You dance to the beat of your own drum which is probably the theme from Batman. You don’t do subtle, in fact you don’t do anything you don’t want to do which is maybe some-thing you could work on. You’re a scrapper, an alley cat, and comfort bores you. You’re at your best when you think your co-worker Sheila is telling everyone at work you’re a has-been. Or when your mother implies you’re getting too old to date men who don’t have jobs. That’s when you shine! You’ll prove them all wrong! You have it in you to change the world, make history, shine brighter than the fire of a 1000 suns! Just watch out though, that fire can get out of control surprisingly fast and it’s pretty shocking how adept detectives are at piecing arson cases together.

If you got mostly B’s you’re a Nancy

Nancy’s aren’t born, they’re made, and it is only through hard work, determination, and an acute understanding of public relations that a Nancy can call herself a Nancy. Sure you have long lines in your body, but you’d never post an Instagram with that as a caption, of course if people gather that you have long lines in your body from the picture of you reaching to get the almond butter off the top shelf then that’s their prerogative. Nancy’s have their eyes on the prize, whether it’s a premiere nut butter or a promotion. People will say you didn’t earn the Johnson account, that’s just people who don’t have the Johnson account and you’re far too busy accounting for things to notice. Watch out, there’s an immense amount of pressure being a Nancy, allow yourself the freedom to fail, even if no one else does.

If you got mostly C’s UH-OH Gilooly alert!!!

Are you a straight white male middle-aged real estate agent? How’d you get in here?! Did you think this quiz was your girlfriends’ diary and you’re looking for clues about whether or not she’s running around on you? Who hurt you? Maybe it’s time you spent some time alone. Or maybe you spend too much time alone. We don’t know, this isn’t our wheelhouse.

Our Venmo is @mattandviviana - cleanse yourself of your sins by sending us $100


Nancy and Tonya Tote
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